Abby Pic Updates!

My Inspiration!

Abby Baby,

You have been a little soldier lately.   Your persistence to stand on your own grows more each day.  And today you inspired me greatly.  Attempting to stand in your play yard you slipped and struck your jaw on the railing.  Blood filled your mouth and you screamed out in pain.  I was immeadtely at your side and held you close.  In just a minute you stopped crying and let me clean you up.  As I examined you I could not see where you had bit yourself.  I know that God had healed your wound.

I was worried that your accident would deter you from trying to stand again.  But much to my surprise you were back playing and getting on your feet in moments! I didn't know whether to cry or just smile.  Here you were, a fragile sick girl, showing strength and ability beyond your illness and teaching your mother yet another lesson.

I cannot tell you how many times I have cleaned and thirty minutes later everything is a mess again.  I feel defeated day after day as I watch things I cannot control take the reins in my life.  I fall time and time again in despair, frustration and exhaustion. But then I see you, overcoming obstacles and defeating the odds.  So tonight I decided to take after you and take charge of what I can change.

Abigail, you would be so proud to see all the work I did tonight. I swept and mopped like Cinderella,  organized like a soldier,  and loved every minute of it! As I finished I relaxed, I mean really relaxed.  I took a deep breath and let it all out. I let out all the stress and depression and sat in wonderment that  a little angel like you, brought this out of me.  You help me to be the woman Heavenly Father intended me to be. I am amazed at the many lessons you teach me every day.

I guess it's true that we learn more from children than they do from us.  You are climbing mountains each day and leaving a glorious trail of light for others to follow.  I love you so much and am blessed dearly to have you.

Love Mom

Baby Girl Abby,

Today was PARK DAY!!! You have never been to a park before. A place with green green grass, swings, slides and lots of giggling children.  The weather was perfect and all of us were indoors missing out on the blue skies. So dad and I dressed Bronco and you up so cute, packed up the car and drove to the park.

Daddy took turns with you two in his lap swinging in the big swings.  At first you liked it but it was too boring. :) So we put you and Bronco into the little swings with the guards. The higher up Daddy would swing you, the bigger you would smile.  Bronco wasn't as brave. He really enjoyed WATCHING you swing, but that was about it.

A man was swinging his son next to you and dad.  Daddy and he talked for a while and it was exciting for me to watch him make a new friend. Then, Bronco and I sat in the grass snacking as you and dad went on the slides.  You loved the soft wind through your hair, the sounds of little voices laughing and most of all spending time with dad.

It was a fun trip for all of us.  When we came home, I bathed you and soon after your bath you stole my slice of pizza!  I know this sounds crazy because you refuse to eat anything more than baby food.  But you have been growing so much! You pulled off the cheese and pepperoni and threw them.  The sauce ended up all over your newly washed body and hair and the bread in your tummy! I cannot explain in words how happy I am to see you trying foods and liking them.  It is for sure helping you in the weight department.

Overall, today was a pretty good day for you and all of us.  Hopefully things continue to look up.  I love you baby.

xoxoxo Mom

Dear Abby,

I just have to say how proud I am of how well you did at your appointment yesterday! You were out of this world!!! The nurses kept saying, "That is the cutest little girl I have ever seen come through here!" and "Oh my! Just look at those eyes and smile!"

You cried and had a hard time when blood was drawn and with the other tests. But not two seconds after you were finished with them you were smiling and talking.  Grandma Johnson held you for the x-ray and you LOVED how cold the room was.  But you weren't as happy when they held you down for the picture.  You were so good for the doctors and stayed awake for the car ride there and home.

We'll get the results in three weeks.  Doctor Swinyard gave us the list of conditions you are being tested for so we can do our research.  Once we get the results I'll write to you and tell you about each one.

Nana and Papa Lee are camping this weekend.  We are hoping to go up tomorrow but are not sure if our check will be in on time.  Hopefully we'll make it! It'll be fun to get outside and teach you about trees and lakes.

Well, I'm off to bed now!!! I'm going to take pictures of tomorrow and describe them to you when we get home!

Lots of love,

Mom

Baby Girl,

I am beside myself with anxiousness right now. You're appointment is tomorrow...I don't know how I am going to get through it without your father there.  Grandma Johnson is coming, but it's just not the same.  Your dad has been there for ALL your appointments and his touch instantly calms me down.  But he has to work.  Things are tight until he can get his education, so he's pretty much banned from missing work. I wish, with every thing, that he could be with us tomorrow.

I want him to help kiss you better after all the blood work.  To kiss my cheek and tell me you're okay.  I am trying not to cry, but it just breaks my heart to see you have to go through so much.  I try to be strong. I heard a quote the other day.

"People weep, not because they are week, but because they have been STRONG for too long"

I feel like that a lot.  However, I pick myself up, wipe my eyes and smile.  I know that right now you need me the most.  A day will come when you can be on your own and you won't depend on me. But I know for at least 18 years you will come to me to kiss your scrapes and bruises, wipe your tears, and vent your boy problems.  And through all of these things you have to endure because of your disabilities, I will be there through it all.   I'll never leave you alone.  Not until you tell me you are ready for me to let go.

I am praying tomorrow goes swell! I have asked for many prayers, positive energy and grace from God.  Here's to hoping He hears our pleas!

I love you baby girl, and good luck tomorrow!

xoxo Mom

Dear Bugaboo,

Tonight when I was bathing your brother, you slid yourself off the couch and stood on your own. You were holding onto the couch for support and not me.  It was a tender moment. I watched you for a moment and in the middle of my thoughts you lost your balance and fell.  You cried for me. I dressed your brother and quickly held you close to my heart.  I was proud to see you being independent. In that small moment I watched you standing on your own, I knew that you would always try hard to be that way. And when you called out for me when you'd fallen, I knew that you know I'll always be here for you. I am proud of you, I cannot say it enough. :)

Also, I think you learned today NOT to bite your brother.  You leaned over, grabbed his foot and bit him! Instantly he reached out and pulled your hair.  Again, you cried for me and I helped you out of that situation. Maybe next time you'll think twice before attacking. You are waking up so I need to put you back to bed. I'll write more soon!

xoxoxo Mom

My Little Lady,

Oh sweet Abby! I am pretty much going out of my mind with excitement! You are progressing so fast in your walking!!! Holding my hands, you walked all around the house.  Even though you are very small in wieght and stature you are growing into quite the little toddler.

I know that one day you are going to be a little girl, a young woman and then eventually starting a family of your own.  I try not to think about this because I realize that when that moments comes for you I will be old. :)  I don't dread the days when you grow up and move out. One thing I learned from my past was to hold dear to your heart your loved ones, but don't hold them so close they suffocate. A person can lose children, spouses, and other family by doing so.  I am going to embrace your milestones with a smile, happiness and most likely tears. But I will never hold you back from what life has to offer you.

You'll get to experience everything you want to and can do.  The weather outside is absolutely gorgeous! The sky is as blue and soft as your diamond eyes and the sun is as warm and bright as your tender smile.  Tomorrow when Daddy is home we will all go for a walk and you will be able to feel the sun on your skin, hear the beautiful birds and enjoy the outdoors.

I almost got stung by a bee today! I went to check the mail and a bunch of bees flew at me from under the stairs!!! In the fist place, I am allergic to bees so that isn't good and second they really scare me.
Bees may be really pretty and good for gardens but their sting is mean and painful! Like when you get a shot, except it still hurts after awhile. Hopefully we don't come across and bees on our walk tomorrow!

Well it's bed time, so I am going to have to stop wiring. But I promise to write you again.

xoxoxo love Mom!