Hey Bug :)

It's Easter Sunday today.  Families are gathering together, eating ham, playing games, finding treats and remembering our Savior. You and I are home today, this is the second year we have missed out.  You've had pretty bad anxiety attacks since your physical therapy appointment last Wednesday.  We woke you up when you thought you were suppose to be asleep, and were in a strange place. You still haven't slept well since. You are getting better though :)

Your fit started at 11:00 am today and lasted until you fell asleep at 3:00 pm. So Bronco was picked up by Papa Scott and he and Daddy are doing Easter with Papa Scott and Grandma Mimi. Next year will be our year :) I just know it.

The weather is beautiful dear.  The sun is bright and warm, like the feeling you get in your heart when I hold you close and tell you how much I love you.  The grass is green and probably feels like Daddy's gruff, so you'll love it.

I imagine it was a day like this when our brother, Jesus Christ, rose from his 3 day slumber. When I think about what He did for us it warms my heart...like the sun.  The ultimate sacrifice was made by Heavenly Father, who "gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him, should not perish but have everlasting life" (*John 3:16). Heavenly Father has so much faith in the goodness of his children, that he sent his only begotten to atone for the sins we might make in this life.  He also, to me, teaches another lesson; to be a mother and a father means to sacrifice things you love to be closer to your children.

On a day like today, Abigail, when everything seems to have gone wrong this week, and I have felt bad for not being able to do things with others, it helps to remember that lesson.  Times are hard right now for you, and that means I have to sacrifice whatever desires or needs I have, to make sure you  make it through (this doesn't mean I don't need sleep once in a while).

I also know, that Heavenly Father doesn't send each of us to this earth without giving us a purpose, a divine reason for being. For me, being the best mother possible to you and your brother is my purpose. I don't know yet, what He has in store for you little one. Or what divine reasoning Heavenly Father has for your blindness. But I do know, however dark your world might be, that so many people will see in ways they never imagined, because of you. I know your father and I already do, and the light that radiates from your blue eyes every time you smile, will illuminate your path through life. Rely on your Heavenly Father, Savoir, and your heart to guide you through life's difficult times and you'll come out more than okay. You are going to be a strong, beautiful woman some day, and I look forward to helping you get there. No matter what sacrifices we have to make, it'll all be worth our while.

Happy Easter Bugaboo,

xoxoxo Mom <3

Hey Baby Girl,

This month certainly has been a busy one! We've started with the Infant/Toddler program. Your father and I are learning Braille so we can be prepared to teach you and share in that part of your life. We move to a new house, (it's actually a house, not just a dinky apartment). I know this move might be scary for you at first, you'll have relearn the boundaries, but we'll have so many new adventures to embark on! When we move, I am going to do a blog giving tutorials on how to decorate a room for a blind child, and blog about all the new things we will learn together as a family. 

Last week you and your brother got sick. He felt better the next day, but it took you four days to smile and eat again. We're happy to have you back Bug :)! Spring is just around the corner and I cannot wait to begin exploring the outdoors with you and Bronco.  Bronco is afraid of the grass. Grass is green, the color of new life, and it varies from soft to prickly. You didn't like to sit on it last summer because it poked your legs, but seeing as how you like Daddy's gruff, you might like it this year! 

You have been extremely clingy lately.  We know you're learning and growing, and sometimes it can be a scary thing. But your brother needs to be held and played with too. I keep praying that angels will hold you and sing to you, when I cannot.  You're going to be a big sister again in June, and mommy's going to need all the help she can get.  We'll live just a minutes walk away from Grandma and Grandpa Johnson's, and not too far from all your other cousins.  You'll get to spend lots of time with Nana Johnson, since she'll be helping out.  

Though things are stressful right now, I know we can get through these harder times.  As you get older, things will get easier.  I just have to keep reminding myself that these next few years are going to fly by, and I need to enjoy the journey.  I love you sweet girl, and pray for you and your brother nightly.

xoxo Mom  

Dear Abby,

I can't believe it's been almost a year since I wrote to you on here. Our internet was off for the longest time, and then the computer fried (you thought it would be hilarious to dump your milk all over the laptop). Anyway, the computer is fixed and we have internet again so I have no more excuses. You are a crawling champ right now, and can get anywhere you want using the sounds around the room and your "four feet" :)

Recently you started a program called Infant/Toddler. It's a government funded program that forms teams of specialist specific to your needs.  You have a physical therapist, an occupational therapist, a speech therapist, a mobility specialist and so on.  They have all been amazed at what have already taught yourself, but the comment we've been getting the most is about how happy and pleasant you are!

And you are (unless you aren't getting your sleep, but you get that from Daddy). You're 2.5 years old now, your brother Bronco is 17 months, and you have a little sister coming in June.  Bronco has been learning to talk like a champ, and he tries to teach you too.  He watches out for you and gives me the worst looks when you're upset. Most days you let him try to play with you, others you cry at the slightest noise he makes.

The doctors put you on a sleep medication to help you sleep at night, it worked for about two weeks and then wore off. It was a very nice two weeks for all of us, but it only made things worse now that you're not sleeping again.  I know that Heavenly Father is mindful of you and your health and will bless you when the time is right (hopefully before your sister is born).

Aside from your sleeping issues, everything else is going great for you. You're eating healthier, playing more Independently, being more social and just the other day you stood on your own and took 5 steps :)

There are many more things I need to catch you up on, and I've been writing in a journal to you while the computers have been down. So I will make a point to put those letters up here too.

I love you sweetheart <3

xoxoxo
Mom

My Little Abby Bug,

A whole month has about flown by since I last wrote to you! I have been so distracted with your brother and you, I often forget to write! :) You both are growing up so fast and reaching great milestones.

You are getting more courage and confidence every day. Watching you move mountains with your determination to walk and talk is something I know you'll be doing your whole life.  You, my dear, are NOT a quitter, you are a doer.  Once you have set your mind to something nothing (not even falling and hitting your bum, every time you stand) deters you from that goal.  And you are very independent about it also.  If your pops or I try to guide you along you slap away our hands, scrunch up your little nose, and plant your bum on the floor! Then you will pull yourself up on whatever piece of furniture you are near, and start all over again, WITHOUT our assistance.

You have enough confidence to turn out from your stable surface and practice taking steps.  It is an endearing sight to watch the smile illuminate your face when you take each little step. I just hope baby girl, that you will always stay close to a stable surface in your life.  Whether it be God, family or your music which you love so much, keep it close to your heart, so if you should fall there is something to hold you up. I wouldn't mind if all three did this for you! :)

In our lives we all have to fall many times before we realize, who we are and what it is that will keep us from hitting the ground. Some of us fall harder than others (oh the stories I have about me!) and it takes a lifetime of hit and miss to find our solid ground. But, you have quite a few years before all this seriousness hits you! You know me sweetie, my thinking wheel is constantly going!!

Your little brother Bronco just adores you! He watches your every move and gives me dirty looks anytime you cry. As if I am the reason?!!! Sheesh, you two are out to get me sometimes I swear it! ;)  He is crawling like mad right now, getting into everything, breaking everything. Maybe he'll learn a thing or two from you about being content with the same toy for hours...? No? I didn't think so either! But I can honestly say I do not mind, even on our crazy days I go to bed smiling that I have the most adorable, loving babies any mama could ask for!

I love you both dearly, and no matter where life takes us, I am glad I have you two, to be apart of this journey.

With Much Love,

Mom

Abby Pic Updates!

My Inspiration!

Abby Baby,

You have been a little soldier lately.   Your persistence to stand on your own grows more each day.  And today you inspired me greatly.  Attempting to stand in your play yard you slipped and struck your jaw on the railing.  Blood filled your mouth and you screamed out in pain.  I was immeadtely at your side and held you close.  In just a minute you stopped crying and let me clean you up.  As I examined you I could not see where you had bit yourself.  I know that God had healed your wound.

I was worried that your accident would deter you from trying to stand again.  But much to my surprise you were back playing and getting on your feet in moments! I didn't know whether to cry or just smile.  Here you were, a fragile sick girl, showing strength and ability beyond your illness and teaching your mother yet another lesson.

I cannot tell you how many times I have cleaned and thirty minutes later everything is a mess again.  I feel defeated day after day as I watch things I cannot control take the reins in my life.  I fall time and time again in despair, frustration and exhaustion. But then I see you, overcoming obstacles and defeating the odds.  So tonight I decided to take after you and take charge of what I can change.

Abigail, you would be so proud to see all the work I did tonight. I swept and mopped like Cinderella,  organized like a soldier,  and loved every minute of it! As I finished I relaxed, I mean really relaxed.  I took a deep breath and let it all out. I let out all the stress and depression and sat in wonderment that  a little angel like you, brought this out of me.  You help me to be the woman Heavenly Father intended me to be. I am amazed at the many lessons you teach me every day.

I guess it's true that we learn more from children than they do from us.  You are climbing mountains each day and leaving a glorious trail of light for others to follow.  I love you so much and am blessed dearly to have you.

Love Mom

Baby Girl Abby,

Today was PARK DAY!!! You have never been to a park before. A place with green green grass, swings, slides and lots of giggling children.  The weather was perfect and all of us were indoors missing out on the blue skies. So dad and I dressed Bronco and you up so cute, packed up the car and drove to the park.

Daddy took turns with you two in his lap swinging in the big swings.  At first you liked it but it was too boring. :) So we put you and Bronco into the little swings with the guards. The higher up Daddy would swing you, the bigger you would smile.  Bronco wasn't as brave. He really enjoyed WATCHING you swing, but that was about it.

A man was swinging his son next to you and dad.  Daddy and he talked for a while and it was exciting for me to watch him make a new friend. Then, Bronco and I sat in the grass snacking as you and dad went on the slides.  You loved the soft wind through your hair, the sounds of little voices laughing and most of all spending time with dad.

It was a fun trip for all of us.  When we came home, I bathed you and soon after your bath you stole my slice of pizza!  I know this sounds crazy because you refuse to eat anything more than baby food.  But you have been growing so much! You pulled off the cheese and pepperoni and threw them.  The sauce ended up all over your newly washed body and hair and the bread in your tummy! I cannot explain in words how happy I am to see you trying foods and liking them.  It is for sure helping you in the weight department.

Overall, today was a pretty good day for you and all of us.  Hopefully things continue to look up.  I love you baby.

xoxoxo Mom