Dear Abigail, I'm sitting awake with your little sister Shelby. She is fast asleep and I'm wide awake waiting for you to wake for "the day". She was born, Tuesday May 29th, 2012; exactly six months before your birthday (your dad likes to point this out often). I was very worried about coming home with Shelby. I thought for sure you'd have a difficult time. But like you always do, you amazed me and made me proud. You've coped very well with having to not be held when your upset, and freaking out when you want attention. Although you did have some rough patches, you have had many more good ones! Bronco calls Shelby "Little Abby". He thinks she is just like you only smaller. You two have grown closer too in the past few weeks. Bronco has won you over with patience and his endearing love and kindness towards you. He gives you his toys to play with, gives you hugs and kisses and tries to make you feel better when you cry. Another big milestone you reached, and just today, was with Grandma Johnson. You have had a hard time letting her hold you and play with you. Today, however, Gammy came and took you and Bronco for a walk in your new stroller. I don't know what happened on that walk, but when you came home all you wanted to do was play with Gammy. You danced with her, let her cuddle with you when you were sad and hugged her when you were all better. Gammy Johnson was so happy that you finally wanted to be with her. You made all of us very happy and proud. Your walking is getting so good sweetheart, and you are wanting to explore every place we go. You love to swing now too. We pray for your continued growth daily and always ask Heavenly Father to bless you with strength and courage. I am excited to see how you are going to keep growing and learning. Well love, I'm drifting off to sleep. I'll write more soon! Love Mama <3

Hey Bug :)

It's Easter Sunday today.  Families are gathering together, eating ham, playing games, finding treats and remembering our Savior. You and I are home today, this is the second year we have missed out.  You've had pretty bad anxiety attacks since your physical therapy appointment last Wednesday.  We woke you up when you thought you were suppose to be asleep, and were in a strange place. You still haven't slept well since. You are getting better though :)

Your fit started at 11:00 am today and lasted until you fell asleep at 3:00 pm. So Bronco was picked up by Papa Scott and he and Daddy are doing Easter with Papa Scott and Grandma Mimi. Next year will be our year :) I just know it.

The weather is beautiful dear.  The sun is bright and warm, like the feeling you get in your heart when I hold you close and tell you how much I love you.  The grass is green and probably feels like Daddy's gruff, so you'll love it.

I imagine it was a day like this when our brother, Jesus Christ, rose from his 3 day slumber. When I think about what He did for us it warms my heart...like the sun.  The ultimate sacrifice was made by Heavenly Father, who "gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him, should not perish but have everlasting life" (*John 3:16). Heavenly Father has so much faith in the goodness of his children, that he sent his only begotten to atone for the sins we might make in this life.  He also, to me, teaches another lesson; to be a mother and a father means to sacrifice things you love to be closer to your children.

On a day like today, Abigail, when everything seems to have gone wrong this week, and I have felt bad for not being able to do things with others, it helps to remember that lesson.  Times are hard right now for you, and that means I have to sacrifice whatever desires or needs I have, to make sure you  make it through (this doesn't mean I don't need sleep once in a while).

I also know, that Heavenly Father doesn't send each of us to this earth without giving us a purpose, a divine reason for being. For me, being the best mother possible to you and your brother is my purpose. I don't know yet, what He has in store for you little one. Or what divine reasoning Heavenly Father has for your blindness. But I do know, however dark your world might be, that so many people will see in ways they never imagined, because of you. I know your father and I already do, and the light that radiates from your blue eyes every time you smile, will illuminate your path through life. Rely on your Heavenly Father, Savoir, and your heart to guide you through life's difficult times and you'll come out more than okay. You are going to be a strong, beautiful woman some day, and I look forward to helping you get there. No matter what sacrifices we have to make, it'll all be worth our while.

Happy Easter Bugaboo,

xoxoxo Mom <3

Hey Baby Girl,

This month certainly has been a busy one! We've started with the Infant/Toddler program. Your father and I are learning Braille so we can be prepared to teach you and share in that part of your life. We move to a new house, (it's actually a house, not just a dinky apartment). I know this move might be scary for you at first, you'll have relearn the boundaries, but we'll have so many new adventures to embark on! When we move, I am going to do a blog giving tutorials on how to decorate a room for a blind child, and blog about all the new things we will learn together as a family. 

Last week you and your brother got sick. He felt better the next day, but it took you four days to smile and eat again. We're happy to have you back Bug :)! Spring is just around the corner and I cannot wait to begin exploring the outdoors with you and Bronco.  Bronco is afraid of the grass. Grass is green, the color of new life, and it varies from soft to prickly. You didn't like to sit on it last summer because it poked your legs, but seeing as how you like Daddy's gruff, you might like it this year! 

You have been extremely clingy lately.  We know you're learning and growing, and sometimes it can be a scary thing. But your brother needs to be held and played with too. I keep praying that angels will hold you and sing to you, when I cannot.  You're going to be a big sister again in June, and mommy's going to need all the help she can get.  We'll live just a minutes walk away from Grandma and Grandpa Johnson's, and not too far from all your other cousins.  You'll get to spend lots of time with Nana Johnson, since she'll be helping out.  

Though things are stressful right now, I know we can get through these harder times.  As you get older, things will get easier.  I just have to keep reminding myself that these next few years are going to fly by, and I need to enjoy the journey.  I love you sweet girl, and pray for you and your brother nightly.

xoxo Mom  

Dear Abby,

I can't believe it's been almost a year since I wrote to you on here. Our internet was off for the longest time, and then the computer fried (you thought it would be hilarious to dump your milk all over the laptop). Anyway, the computer is fixed and we have internet again so I have no more excuses. You are a crawling champ right now, and can get anywhere you want using the sounds around the room and your "four feet" :)

Recently you started a program called Infant/Toddler. It's a government funded program that forms teams of specialist specific to your needs.  You have a physical therapist, an occupational therapist, a speech therapist, a mobility specialist and so on.  They have all been amazed at what have already taught yourself, but the comment we've been getting the most is about how happy and pleasant you are!

And you are (unless you aren't getting your sleep, but you get that from Daddy). You're 2.5 years old now, your brother Bronco is 17 months, and you have a little sister coming in June.  Bronco has been learning to talk like a champ, and he tries to teach you too.  He watches out for you and gives me the worst looks when you're upset. Most days you let him try to play with you, others you cry at the slightest noise he makes.

The doctors put you on a sleep medication to help you sleep at night, it worked for about two weeks and then wore off. It was a very nice two weeks for all of us, but it only made things worse now that you're not sleeping again.  I know that Heavenly Father is mindful of you and your health and will bless you when the time is right (hopefully before your sister is born).

Aside from your sleeping issues, everything else is going great for you. You're eating healthier, playing more Independently, being more social and just the other day you stood on your own and took 5 steps :)

There are many more things I need to catch you up on, and I've been writing in a journal to you while the computers have been down. So I will make a point to put those letters up here too.

I love you sweetheart <3

xoxoxo
Mom