Dearest Abigail,

You are the sweetest! You're laying next to me, holding my hand and telling me all about your day.  It may be baby gibberish and I certainly cannot understand it, but I love it all the same! Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that! :) I love you babygirl! 

XOXOXOXO Mom :)

Dear Abby,

I just want to tell you how proud I am of you. You are such a brave little girl.  You have been trying to crawl and stand lately.  Even though you have fallen pretty hard sometimes, you get right back up and try again. You've also started playing well with your brother Bronco. :)

It fills my heart with so much happiness to see you two bonding.  I can tell that Bronco and you are going to be best of friends.  You like it when he laughs and when he holds your hand. You think it's hilarious when he's getting his bath and screaming because he hates it. He gives you the biggest smiles of all. When he's waking up from his nap or bedtime he scans the room until he finds you and grins ear to ear!

I almost gave up on praying for us.  I was angry and I needed someone to blame, God seemed like the best option, because He's the one I had been begging for months to help.  But now you are sleeping well, and your eating is getting better.  Your daddy has a job. It's not the best paying job but it's enough to shelter you.

One of the things I have been struggling with is not having a home of our own.  When I was a little girl we moved from place to place, never settling down.  I have only really had one home and even then it was short lived. They say home is where you make it, but I dream of us being in a little one level home. I'd love a place of our OWN that we can paint, create lifelong memories, and know for sure we'll always have that place to come home to at the end of the day.

But I must be happy for what we have. Daddy, Bronco and you are my home. Even if we don't have a concrete home, I know I'll always have a place in your hearts and you mine.  Spring is on it's way and we have so much to explore together! Memories to paint in our minds and fun to be had! I love you baby girl and I'll write again soon!

Love Mom,

ps Daddy loves you too!

Baby Girl,

The last two night you have been in bed and asleep by 8:30 pm.  It is now 10:00pm and you are still awake... you're going full circle again. I am apologizing in advance for any impatience or frustration. It is not towards you love, but rather this continuous, physically impairing cycle we have been on for over a year.  I just want you to be healthy and I want to be healthy to take care of you.

Here's to hoping you fall asleep, I don't think I'm praying for it anymore.

Love you sweet heart :)

Spring is in the Air!

Dear Abigail,

The weather has been so beautiful lately! Last week it was 70 out side! I dressed you in the cutest little spring outfit and put her air in pigtails.  Once we stepped outside you turned your rosy cheeks to the sun and grinned as its rays kissed your skin! The sun in big and round, like you tennis ball just a million times bigger!!! And it's warms like your bath, but it can be hot like the stove.

Flowers are starting to play peak-a-boo with the gardens and the occasional blue, pink and yellow petals are sure signs spring is in the air.

My favorite flowers are white lilies. They are tall, with one large petal that wraps around the tip of the stem.  Some people call them Easter Lilies.  I like to put them on the table with some roses and leaves mixed in.

I think about how beautiful all these things look and I get sad you can't see them.  But then I smell the sweet pollen and the feel the silkiness of the petals and I am happy again. Happy because you taught me to remember all the good things I seem to forget about God's beauty on Earth.  You teach me more than I could ever learn if you had your sight.

I should get going, Bronco is about to fall asleep and you're looking tired too.  I love you and I'll write again soon!

Love mom